Meditation is like coming home to yourself. But if you do not have a good handle on who you are, this can be either disconcerting or distressing and perhaps both.
I find that when I try to meditate lately, I am overwhelmed with all the people, conversations, plans, disappointments and triumphs that are happening in my life at the moment. I can’t find silence, because I don’t know where that silence is. I don’t know who the silence is.
This morning I remembered. The silence is me. The silence is who I am, deep inside. I am the silence. But I had forgotten me.
Remember, zero, the symbol for silence does not mean absolute void. It means unmanifest. It is all the possibilities, all of who you are at once, but without form, or attachment. I am not empty. I am full, much more full than I have been acting. I have been operating from a small manifested part of myself and acting like that is all there is of me. And when this is not enough to deal with life, hopelessness can creep into my heart and mind. I have been acting as only the manifest parts of myself. But when I am truly present, truly embracing the silence, I can feel me – the rest of me, the whole of me, the all of me. I came back to my true self.
During this next month, I hope to find many different ways to come to silence, to be completely present, and to explore consciousness. Today, this day, in this moment, silence is coming back to me.
We’ll explore about Identity with Key 5, but for now it is only important that I sense again who I am - ALL of who I am.